Emotional health in childhood ‘is the key to future happiness’

LSE study says money, success and good grades are less important

 Lord Richard Layard, who is emeritus professor of economics at the LSE. 
Photograph: Linda Nylind/Observer

Mick Jagger famously couldn’t get it, but now economists think they know what’s required to get some satisfaction.

After investigating the factors in a person’s life that can best predict whether they will lead satisfied lives, a team headed by one of the UK’s foremost “happiness” experts, Professor Richard Layard, has come up with an answer that may prove controversial.

Layard and his colleagues at the Wellbeing research programme at the London School of Economics’ Centre for Economic Performance conclude that a child’s emotional health is far more important to their satisfaction levels as an adult than other factors, such as if they achieve academic success when young, or wealth when older. The authors explain that evaluating the quality of a child’s emotional health is based on analysing a range of internal factors in a person’s early life, including whether they endured unhappiness, sleeplessness, eating disorders, bedwetting, fearfulness or tiredness.

The academics claim that their study, What Predicts a Successful Life? A Life-course Model of Well-being, published in the latest edition of the Economic Journal, offers “a completely new perspective on which factors contribute most to a satisfying life”. The study claims to challenge “the basic assumption of educational policy in recent years – that academic achievement matters more than anything else”. This claim appears to be an implicit criticism of former education secretary Michael Gove, who instructed schools not to focus on “peripheral” issues such as children’s moral, social and cultural development in favour of academic excellence. Gove’s successor, Nicky Morgan, has pledged to reverse this approach.

Layard and his team analysed data from about 9,000 people who were born over a three-week period in 1970 and then tracked by the British Cohort Survey, a study that asks them to complete an extensive questionnaire about their lives every five to seven years. They were also asked to rate their satisfaction at key periods through their lives. The team then examined factors including their income, educational achievement, employment, whether they had been in trouble with the law, whether they were single, as well as their physical and emotional health – to gauge how significant these were in determining satisfaction. In addition, a range of factors that affect a child’s development – for example, intellectual performance, family socio-economic background and emotional health were also examined.

The findings are controversial. As one of Layard’s colleagues, Andrew E Clark, notes in an accompanying paper, the suggestion that “education and income are among the least important determinants of adult success, as measured by life satisfaction … risks provoking outrage among some.”Many people have assumed income is the most important factor in an adult’s life satisfaction. But the academics say their data makes clear this is far less important than emotional health – both in a child and in an adult. “Income only explains about 1% of the variation in life satisfaction among people in the UK – one sixth of the fraction explained by emotional health,” they note. Or, to put it another way, money really cannot buy you happiness.

But the economics of happiness or wellbeing is now a growing and respected discipline within economics that is starting to influence politicians.

David Cameron has stated: “It’s time we admitted that there’s more to life than money and it’s time we focused not just on GDP but on GWB – general well-being.”

The findings raise questions about the extent to which intervening in a child’s life will pay dividends later on.

“Child interventions can produce massive savings to public finances but these are often at a much later date,” the authors note. They conclude: “By far the most important predictor of adult life-satisfaction is emotional health, both in childhood and subsequently. We find that the intellectual performance of a child is the least important childhood predictor of life-satisfaction as an adult.”

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/nov/08/happiness-childhood-emotional-health-richard-layard

7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People

                          

Unsplash by Volkan Olmez

                                     

I often teach about happiness and what has become exceedingly clear is this: There are seven qualities chronically unhappy people have mastered.

According to Psychology Today, University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky states: "40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change."
If this is true and it is, there's hope for us all. There are billions of people on our planet and clearly some are truly happy. The rest of us bounce back and forth between happiness and unhappiness depending on the day.
Throughout the years, I've learned there are certain traits and habits chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in with you, let me preface this and say: we all have bad days, even weeks when we fall down in all seven areas.
The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we stay there.
Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.
1. Your default belief is that life is hard.
Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.
Perseverance towards problem-solving versus complaining over circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way through and out the other side.
2. You believe most people can't be trusted.
I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.
Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends.
3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.
There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but".
Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.
4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.
Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.
5. You strive to control your life.
There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.
Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.
The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan B.
6. You consider your future with worry and fear.
There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.
Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.
Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're spinning in fear and they lay it down.
7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.
Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.
Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life.
Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly.
Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tamara-star/7-habit-of-chronically-unhappy-people_b_6174000.html

Happiness and Laughter Are Natural Immune Boosters

By Dr. Mercola

There are many studies supporting the belief that people with an upbeat and positive perspective tend to be healthier and enjoy longer lives. For example, in one study,1 the tendency to always expect the worst was linked to a 25 percent higher risk of dying before the age of 65.

Perhaps one of the most well-known forerunners of “the science of happiness” was Norman Cousins, who in 1964 was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune disease. After being given a one in 500 chance of recovery, Cousins created his own laughter therapy program, which he claims was the key to his ultimate recovery.

Cousins went on to establish the Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology2 in Los Angeles, California, and his book, Anatomy of an Illness, was made into a TV movie in 1984 that you can see in the video above. It's an old grainy movie. However, you can watch it if you are in a tough spot and feel you would benefit from some happy support.

Still, conventional medicine is reluctant to admit that your emotional state might have any major impact on your overall health and longevity. Perhaps this is understandable, as “happiness” is not something that can be bottled and sold at your local pharmacy.

The featured article in Scientific American3 discusses some of the latest advancements in the field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI), conducted by researchers at the Cousins Center and elsewhere.

Fortunately, despite being ridiculed and rejected by mainstream science, there are still a brave few who are willing to stick their necks out to investigate how and why emotions, such as happiness, affect your physical health. As stated by Stephen Smale, an immunologist at the University of California:

“If you talk to any high-quality neurobiologist or immunologist about PNI, it will invariably generate a little snicker. But this doesn't mean the topic should be ignored forever. Someday we need to confront it and try to understand how the immune system and nervous system interact.”

Your Brain Is Wired to Your Immune System

According to the featured article, studies done in the 1980s and early 1990s revealed that your immune system and brain are actually wired together:

“[P]ortions of the nervous system connect with immune-related organs such as the thymus and bone marrow, and immune cells have receptors for neurotransmitters, suggesting that there is crosstalk.”

In some ways, this discovery can be likened to the revelation that your gut has far broader impact on your health than previously imagined—including your psychological health, as your gut and brain are actually made from the same tissue. In a very real sense, you have TWO brains; one inside your skull, and one in your intestines.

When you get down to it, why wouldn’t your emotions and mental state affect your health? It’s already well-known that stress can take a tremendous toll on your health, for example. Yet conventional scientists frown on the idea that emotions such as “happiness” or “joy” would make any difference. As reported in the featured article:

It has proved difficult to explain how this happens at the molecular level — how subjective moods connect with the vastly complex physiology of the nervous and immune systems. The field that searches for these explanations, known as psychoneuroimmunology (PNI), is often criticized as lacking rigour.

[Cousins Center professor, Steve] Cole's stated aim is to fix that, and his tool of choice is genome-wide transcriptional analysis: looking at broad patterns of gene expression in cells. ‘My job is to be a hard-core tracker,’ he says. ‘How do these mental states get out into the rest of the body?’”

Stress Takes a Toll on Your Immune System

Cole and his colleagues have published a number of studies investigating the genetic effects of various mental states. Not surprisingly, they’ve discovered that different emotional states tend to alter gene expression in different ways. 

For example, they found that chronic loneliness tends to result in certain types of genes being either up- or downregulated.4 Genes involved in the regulation of inflammatory response were upregulated, while genes involved with antiviral control were downregulated. The end result? Decreased immune function. According to the featured article:

“In sociable people, the reverse was true. It was a small study, but one of the first to link a psychological risk factor with a broad underlying change in gene expression.”

Through the years, studies have also been able to show the effects of stress on various biological functions. Such effects include:

Reduced activity of virus-fighting immune cells
Increased levels of antibodies for common viruses such as Epstein-Barr, suggesting that stress can reactivate otherwise latent viruses in your body
Related research presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society in Miami, Florida, found that ruminating on a stressful incident can increase your levels of C-reactive protein, a marker of inflammation in your body.5 It was the first study to directly measure this effect.

To do so, they asked 34 healthy young women to give a speech about her candidacy for a job in front of two stone-faced interviewers wearing white lab coats. Afterward, half the group was asked to contemplate their performance while the other half were asked to think about neutral things like going to the grocery store. Blood samples were drawn from each participant, showing that the C-reactive protein levels were significantly higher in those who kept ruminating on their speech. According to Medical News Today:6

“For these participants, the levels of the inflammatory marker continued to rise for at least one hour after the speech. During the same time period, the marker returned to starting levels in the subjects who had been asked to focus on other thoughts.

The C-reactive protein is primarily produced by the liver as part of the immune system's initial inflammatory response. It rises in response to traumas, injuries or infections in the body, [lead author, Peggy] Zoccola explained. C-reative protein is widely used as a clinical marker to determine if a patient has an infection, but also if he or she may be at risk for disease later in life. ‘More and more, chronic inflammation is being associated with various disorders and conditions,’ Zoccola said. ‘The immune system plays an important role in various cardiovascular disorders such as heart disease, as well as cancer, dementia and autoimmune diseases.’"

What Happens in Your Body When You’re Happy?

In one of Professor Cole’s happiness studies, participants answered questions about the frequency of certain emotional states, covering two different categories or types of happiness known to psychologists as:

Hedonic well-being (characterized by happiness gleaned from pleasurable experiences, such as sex)
Eudaimonic well-being (originating with Aristotle, this form of happiness comes from activities that bring you a greater sense of purpose, life meaning, or self-actualization )
Interestingly, while both are positive emotional states associated with happiness, the gene expressions they produced were not identical. Those whose sense of happiness was rooted in the eudaimonic camp were found to have favorable gene-expression profiles, while hedonic well-being produced gene profiles similar to those seen in people experiencing stress due to adversity. According to the featured article:7

“One interpretation is that eudaimonic well-being benefits immune function directly. But Cole prefers to explain it in terms of response to stress. If someone is driven purely by hollow consumption, he argues, all of their happiness depends on their personal circumstances. If they run into adversity, they may become very stressed.

But if they care about things beyond themselves — community, politics, art — then everyday stresses will perhaps be of less concern. Eudaimonia, in other words, may help to buffer our sense of threat or uncertainty, potentially improving our health. ‘It's fine to invest in yourself,’ says Cole, ‘as long as you invest in lots of other things as well.’”

Stress-relieving strategies have also been shown to have direct, beneficial health effects. Meditation, for example, has been shown to promote antiviral gene activity and reduce inflammatory gene expression. Laughter yoga is also becoming increasingly popular around the world.

What Comes First—Health or Happiness?

For many, happiness can be a poorly defined, elusive goal. One way to think about happiness is to define it as “whatever gets you excited.” Once you’ve identified that activity, whatever it is, you can start focusing your mind around that so you can integrate more of it into your day to day life. If you feel stuck and don’t know where or how to start, I suggest reviewing my previous article “13 Tips for Living Happy, Wild, and Free.”

I also believe that factors such as diet and exercise can play a significant role. It’s tough to feel exuberant when you’re not feeling well physically. As mentioned earlier, the state of your gut can have profound implications for your mental well-being, and is an oft-overlooked aspect of depression and other psychological problems. The following lifestyle strategies can help you create a firm foundation of good health, which will support your psychological and emotional being as well.

Eat a healthy diet focused on fresh, whole foods (ideally organic and/or locally grown). Eat a large portion of your food raw. You want to pay careful attention to keeping your insulin levels down, which means avoiding sugars and grains of all kinds, and replacing the lost carbs with healthful fats. Also be mindful of your protein sources, making sure they’re of high quality (ideally organically-raised and pasture-fed). A high-fat, moderate-protein, low-carb diet is likely to improve the health of most people. My optimized Nutritional Plan can guide you, whether you’re at a beginner’s or advanced level.

Consume healthy fat.
 The science is loud and clear on this point: omega-3 fats are essential for optimal health. Other healthy fats include coconut oil, avocados, olives, olive oil, butter, and macadamia nuts. All these fats are low in protein and carbs and will not impair your insulin or leptin.
Make clean, pure water your primary beverage, and steer clear of all sweetened and/or flavored beverages, including those that contain artificial sweeteners.
Manage your stress.

Exercise regularly.
 Ideally, you want a comprehensive fitness regimen that includes stretching, high intensity interval training, core strengthening exercises, and strength training.
Get plenty of appropriate sun exposure to optimize your vitamin D levels naturally. UV exposure also has additional health benefits beyond vitamin D production.

Get grounded.
 Grounding or Earthing is defined as placing one's bare feet on the ground whether it be dirt, grass, sand, or concrete (especially when humid or wet). When you ground to the electron-enriched Earth, an improved balance of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system occurs. Studies have shown that grounding improves blood viscosity, heart rate variability, inflammation, cortisol dynamics, sleep, autonomic nervous system (ANS) balance, and reduces effects of stress. Earthing also decreases the effect of potentially disruptive electromagnetic fields.

Limit your exposure to toxins of all kinds. 
The number of toxic chemicals and their sources is so large, addressing them all could easily require an entire library, but I believe you can help you keep your toxic load as low as possible by becoming an informed and vigilant consumer. This includes tossing out your toxic household cleaners, soaps, personal hygiene products, air fresheners, bug sprays, lawn pesticides, and insecticides, just to name a few, and replacing them with non-toxic alternatives.

Get plenty of quality sleep.
 Scientists have discovered that your circadian rhythms regulate the energy levels in your cells. In addition, the proteins involved with your circadian rhythm and metabolism are intrinsically linked and dependent upon each other. Therefore, when your circadian rhythm is disrupted, it can have a profound influence on your health. For example, research has also linked disrupted sleep cycles to serious health problems like depression, coronary heart diseases, and even cancer. If you have any kind of sleep problem, whether you’re having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, my article “33 Secrets to a Good Night's Sleep” is packed with great tips to help you finally get some good rest.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/12/12/happiness-laughter-immune-boosters.aspx

7 Simple Scientifically Proven Methods To Make You A Happier Person

Ever noticed you’re in a slump that’s lasting weeks, months or even years? Moodiness is common to the 20-something’s life. With all the life changes, long work hours, lack of sleep, poor eating habits and stress, it’s pretty easy to feel out of whack.

If you find yourself struggling with non-clinical moody slumps, it’s important to pinpoint an action plan so that you can turn your mood around.

The key is to remember that you are in active control over your life: It is up to you to make positive changes that will make you happier in your daily life. Here are seven ways to do it:

Smile

Try this: Smile in the mirror, first thing in the morning, then a couple more times during the day. Does your mood change? As it turns out, moving facial muscles in such a way that mimics smiling has been scientifically proven to boost your mood.

When you smile, there is a physiological response that influences areas of your brain that coincide with feeling happier sensations. So, certain facial expressions literally pinpoint specific portions of your brain. Get smiling, people.

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Herbal Supplements

There is much wisdom in eastern medicine, including its focus on treating the whole human body instead of targeting specific parts. The wonderful thing about herbal remedies is that they help your body function at its best so that it can naturally heal itself.

Try maca root or St. John’s wort. Maca root is wonderful for combating high stress levels known to throw our bodies out of whack and St. John’s wort has been shown to be just as effective as anti-depressants for mild and moderate levels of clinical depression.

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Drink Green Tea

Green tea, well known for its soothing and relaxing qualities, has also been shown to improve mood. 

A study conducted at Swinburne University investigated brain activity in relation to moods found that participants who consumed green tea showed greater relaxation, attention and higher mood levels.

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H20

As you heard from your high school sports coach, dehydration can compromise athletic performances. Not only that, but new studies now show that hydration — or lack thereof — also influences the mood.

In a study, a hydrated group was compared with a dehydrated group and athletes who were dehydrated not only performed worse on athletic activities, but also reported more negative moods.

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Exercise And Meditation

There is nothing quite like a runner’s high. Athletes have long noted the amazing benefits associated with working out, such as increased energy, relaxation and higher moods.

Recently, researchers began to investigate the correlation between exercise and mood; however, they are now finding that such a relation exists. Researchers have found that you can begin to feel a “mood-enhancement effect” after as few as five minutes of physical activity.

Similarly, meditation has also been shown to influence mood — studies have shown that meditation lowers cortisol levels, which is a primary instigator of anxiety. Whatever your method of choice may be, either option can be a fantastic tool to improve your mood.

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Eat Those Veggies

Take if from Popeye, who is famously known for chugging a can of spinach prior to exerting his physical strength: Eat those greens! Recent research suggests that diets high in fruits and vegetables make people calmer, more energetic and happier.

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Try Some Positive Thinking

Whether or not you agree with the positive thinking phenomenon, there is a lot of wisdom to be gained from focusing on your thoughts. As Henry Ford so wisely said,

The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right. Which one are you?

If you focus all of your energy on negativity or what you can’t do, you won’t do it. But, if you instead focus on what you can do, you will find a way to do it.

http://elitedaily.com/life/scientifically-proven-ways-to-instantly-improve-your-mood/

Science Proves Hugging Trees Is Good for Health

It has now been confirmed by science that hugging trees can beneficially affect human health by altering vibrational frequency.

Hugging a tree may have gained popularity as a maligned hippy practice, but it has now been validated by science to be incredibly beneficial for both people and the planet. Contrary to popular belief, hugging – or even just being in the vicinity of – a tree can boost one’s health in several ways.

In a recently published book by author Matthew Silverstone, Blinded by Science, evidence confirming trees and their healthful benefits includes their effect on mental illnesses, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), concentration levels, reaction times, depression, and the ability to alleviate headaches.

According to countless studies cited within the book, children show extreme psychological and physiological effects in term of improved health and well-being when they interact with plants. It was recorded that children function better cognitively and emotionally in green environments and have more creative play in green areas.

A large public health report studying the association between green spaces and mental health also noted that “access to nature can significantly contribute to our mental capability and well being.”

What is it about nature that can cause significant alleviation of symptoms? Many might think it’s open green spaces that contribute to this effect, but Silverstone shows that it’s more than this theory; instead, he explains how it’s the vibrational properties of trees and plants that offer the health benefits – not just open spaces.

Because everything vibrates, different vibrations undoubtedly affect biological behaviors. According to Natural News, it has been proven that that if one were to drink a glass of water that has been treated with a 10Hz vibration, one’s blood coagulation rates will change immediately upon ingesting the treated water.

Similarly, trees affect human beings (and all other creatures) in the same way. When one touches a tree, its different vibrational pattern will affect various biological behaviors within the body.

Within Blinded by Science, such theory is backed up by hundreds of scientifically validated studies, providing overwhelming proof that tree hugging is not just for hippies, it’s for everyone.

Not only is clutching a giant, sturdy oak therapeutic and free, it could offer a plethora of benefits and save the populace a large amount in healthcare costs.

A similar report documenting the effects of nature and improving health reported that “safe, green spaces may be as effective as prescription drugs in treating some forms of mental illnesses.”

Human beings can only live outside of the laws of nature for so long before symptoms of disconnect be made manifest. With the increasing prevalence of lifestyle-related diseases, it’s clear more attention deserves to be given to holistic practices such as this one, so that the cause of imbalance be alleviated and lifestyle-related illnesses dissipate.
http://earthweareone.com/science-proves-hugging-trees-is-good-for-health/

9 Common Traits Of Happy People (That They Don’t Talk About)

 by Mark DeNicola.

Happiness. It’s the term thrown around more often than any other term when people are asked what they are looking for in life. A loving partner, a fun high-paying job and endless world travel are also amongst some of the most common answers, however all of these are preference-based means to the one ultimate end, which is happiness. Being so sought-after, I thought I’d comprise a list of common traits that seem to be found in happy people -and I’m talking about the genuinely happy people, and not just those who appear to be so on the surface.

By compiling this list I’m not suggesting that these are the only keys to happiness, I’m simply shedding light on some common characteristics I’ve come to find.

1. Love Themselves For Who They Are

On the surface this may sound incredibly egotistical, but by it I simply mean that they are truly comfortable in their own shoes. They accept and embrace themselves physically, they maintain their true character traits regardless of whether or not they receive approval and they work to make the best of the human experience they are living -rather than wallow in what others would define as weaknesses or shortcomings.

2. See Relationships As An Extension To, Rather Than The Basis Of The Human Experience

Relationships, whether friendly, familial or romantic, are certainly one of the greatest parts of the human experience. However, far too many of us let their presence or absence, and even more so the value we attribute to them dictate our overall happiness in life. I’ve found that genuinely happy people tend to find complete contentment within themselves, and see all relationships as the awesome extension to their self-content. It’s often when we are not looking for others to fill a particular void, or to make us feel a certain way, that most of the truest and most-valuable relationships are formed.

3. Embrace Change

Life is a constant lesson and happy people tend to be well-aware of that. Not only are they always open to change, but they truly listen to suggestions, respect and consider all opinions and take criticism constructively rather than offensively.

4. Celebrate Rather Than Compare Themselves To The Accomplishments Of Others

Jealousy is a killer, and as Gary Allan once said, “You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.” We are all capable of accomplishing anything in this life and are the only ones that are going to find the drive within ourselves to do it. Rather than observe and compare to those who have accomplished, the truly happy tend to celebrate it and use it as motivation to accomplish things within their own lives.

5. Never Dwell In Being A Victim

We’ve all been the so-called ‘victim’ to several things in life. Whether it be an unexpected break-up, getting fired from a job, or even something as serious as the recipient of domestic abuse. Truly happy people tend to be those who choose not to dwell in it. They choose to let the victimization strengthen them, rather than wear it as a badge of weakness or as the thing that makes them consistently worthy of receiving sympathy.

6. They Live In The Present

As fun as reminiscing about the past or fantasizing about the future can be, nothing will ever be done in anything but the present and happy people tend to realize that. Not only do they realize it, but they tend to use it as motivation to make the most of it. In addition to being motivating, presence can also come in handy for truly appreciating those moments of relaxation, allowing yourself to be truly in them, rather than projecting future concerns into them.

7. Trust That Everything Happens For A Reason

This can very easily be paired with the choice to not be a victim, but happy people tend to trust the process and existence of everything in their life. They know that nothing is ever too big to handle and choose to embrace what life is currently throwing at them rather than cowering at the sight of it.

8. They Don’t Let Money Dictate Their Lives

Nobody is denying that in this world right now we all need money to exist, and as a result many of us spend the bulk of our lives doing things that help us earn it. What I’ve found to differentiate happy people is that they don’t let money be the ultimate dictator in their life. They still make sensible choices within their means, but they never let money: A) prevent them from pursuing a so-called “risky” passion, B) be the factor that is blamed for why their life is so miserable, C) complain about how little they have. There are creative ways to do everything in this world, and seeing money as only being possible to make in the standard ways is the most crippling thing to that creativity.

9. Look Within For Solutions

One of the most powerful realizations a genuinely happy person will often operate based on is “change starts within.” The empowerment that comes as a result of not only realizing this but even more so in using it as the backbone to everything in life can be quite remarkable. There are thousands of books, mantras, techniques and practices out there that can all help us to find solutions to so many things in life, but they all require one thing to truly be serviceable: the consciousness to support them.

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/06/28/8-common-traits-of-happy-people-that-they-dont-talk-about/

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

By DNA | May 12, 2014

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

http://topinfopost.com/top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed